Therapy for the Adult Children of Narcissists

Heal childhood emotional trauma
and live your best life.

Therapy for anxiety Portland

Narcissism in families

Adults with a narcissistic parent or from a narcissistic family system often realize that their unresolved childhood emotional trauma has quietly undermined all areas of their adult life.

One of the major symptoms of such trauma is chronic anxiety. This alone can damage your confidence, and long-term- seriously affect your mental and physical health.

Are you a people pleaser or a perfectionist?

Are you a chronic under or over achiever?

Do you often feel that you don’t belong?

With unresolved emotional trauma, even if you spend your entire life giving and helping others, you may never feel you deserve to be loved for who you are.

The whisper of a narcissistic parent reverberates in your subconscious throughout your life… "Something is wrong with you", You are not good enough", You are broken".

When you recognize that this voice is not the truth, but conditioning from your traumatic childhood, a new journey is possible. You can heal these deep emotional wounds and discover the soaring potential of your life, free from the past.

Healing from Narcissists

Healing from emotional trauma is possible!

If you have experienced narcissistic abuse or emotional neglect as a child, not only is healing possible, but it is fundamental to allow you to live your best life.

The journey can be challenging and painful. It will confront the very idea you have of you. But the effort and energy you put into that journey will repay you much more in kind. You can powerfully recreate how you experience life… forever.

Imagine a life where you are...

not broken, and there is nothing wrong with you.

free to be your authentic self and be loved for who you are.

able to enjoy healthy, connected relationships.

confident, peaceful and trust your intuition.

Therapy for anxiety Portland

Emotional damage from a narcissistic family system

I specialize in working with clients with a narcissistic parent, and also for those whose emotional needs were unmet because of a narcissistic family system.

A narcissistic family system is one where the needs of the parents were prioritized over the needs of the children. Often, neither parent is narcissistic, but the overall family system does not foster healthy emotional development. It is also common that children were expected to meet the needs of the parents. This dynamic can be very confusing and my clients often blame themselves for things entirely out of their control.

The causes of a narcissistic family system may include mental illness, addiction, immaturity, criminal behavior, sexual or physical abuse, emotional neglect, or spiritual abuse. Clients often report that their family looked good from the outside but “something just wasn’t right”.

The effects of growing up in this type of environment may include:

being unable to recognize your needs or even feel your feelings

being a people pleaser and/or a perfectionist

having codependent behaviors and/or addiction issues

You may also struggle with decision-making, lack self-confidence, and suffer from anxiety and depression.

Healing from Narcissists

My therapeutic approach to narcissistic abuse

For those with a narcissistic parent or from a narcissistic family system, the therapy I offer is a combination of Contemplative Psychology (which blends Buddhist teachings with Western Psychology), Internal Family Systems, Poylvagal Theory, Attachment Theory, and Somatic Psychology.

In addition, I use Parts Work, Meditation, Visualization and tools and techniques that integrate mind and body.

Please know, I only work with a very particular kind of client.

My clients want to take charge of their healing process; they own their therapy hour and come to sessions prepared with what we will work on. My clients commit to doing the work outside of our sessions too, and they align with the philosophies of healing that I practice.

Together, we address the impact of the past emotional trauma or neglect, understanding how you got to this point. Then, we move beyond the anger and blame and our focus turns to healing, wholeness, and empowering the now.

It is an extreme privilege to sit with clients who, often for the first time, feel their emotions and experiences validated. They see paths to a different future. A future where they feel empowered, enjoy healthy relationships and can live their best self… it is a powerful and moving process.

Elizabeth Trautwein

Elizabeth Trautwein

Does this style of therapy
call to you?

I am always excited to find new clients who are ready to do the work!

When I have availability, please book a free 15 minute consultation, by phone or video and we can decide if we are a good fit.

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please note...
I do NOT accept insurance!

You can read why in the FAQ (below)

Healing from Narcissists

Clients say...

"When I found Elizabeth, I had been searching for a long time to try to figure out what was wrong with my family and why I kept having so much trouble with my relationships.

I saw several other therapists, but felt like I was spinning my wheels, not making progress."

"When I found out about narcissistic personality disorder and got to work with a therapist (Elizabeth) who specializes in that, everything became clear.

It took time and care and hard work, but I am so thankful to be where I am today; to have answers to my questions, to be empowered, and to be moving forward into a life of healing and happiness."

"Elizabeth is a gifted, intuitive, highly skilled therapist who adeptly balances the need for safety with the need to be challenged and encouraged.

If you have experienced trauma and abuse from personality disordered people, Cultivate and Flourish is a safe, healing place for you. I wholeheartedly recommend Elizabeth.”

Therapy for anxiety Portland

FAQ

How much does therapy cost?

Therapy sessions cost $175 per session and are typically 55 minutes long. The frequency depends on your needs, budget and availability in my schedule.

Acceptable forms of payment are cash, checks, credit card, or Health Savings Accounts (HSA).

I am licensed in Oregon, Washington, and Arizona and offer video therapy using a HIPPA compliant program.

Do you accept insurance?

The short answer is no. I have made a conscious choice to not accept insurance in my practice. Why? Because I believe that the therapeutic relationship is sacred between you and me.

If I were to accept insurance, your insurance company may ask to see your charts, which is a breach of the privacy and safety we create when you undertake therapy. I believe strongly that you should be free to say whatever you want in therapy without fear of it becoming part of an official record.

However, I can give you a statement so that you can apply for reimbursement for out-of-network benefits if you wish to do that in your own way.

What outcomes are possible for those with a narcissistic parent?

My clients commonly report feeling more connected to themselves and to other people. They can set healthy boundaries and enjoy more emotional stability.  

Other common outcomes from this type of therapy include:

  • Reduced anxiety.
  • Being calm in situations that would previously have been stressful.
  • Feeling more motivated in life.
  • Being able to recognize and communicate needs, and having needs met.
  • No longer feeling responsible for other people’s emotions.
  • Enjoying healthier relationships.
  • An overall “ease” for moving through life.

How long is the commitment to therapy?

If we decide to work together after our initial consultation, I ask that you make a three-month commitment to therapy. This will give us time to develop a therapeutic relationship, explore deeply the challenges you are facing, and see results from your work. However, if it doesn’t feel right, you are welcome to discontinue treatment.